Summer observations

1) Summer is actually very short.  Basically 9 weeks which are going by like THAT! (insert snap sound)

2) I've actually gotten closer to my little Sophie.  We have more stretches of downtime to hang out and be silly together.  

3) Both my children are growing up so fast.  Each morning they look a wee bit different.  A longer leg, a leaner face, or maybe even facial features that have been slightly rearranged overnight. Weird, right? 

4) Oh yeah, I also turned 40 but I'm ok with it.  (more on that later)

5) My 20 month old son talks now.  He says no, mine, owie, dooce (for juice), does (toes), mommy, daddy, ami (for grandma), points to his nose.  He also recognizes Thomas (choo-choo) and Elmo (Ellow).  

6) He's also is a little tyrant.  If he were a factory, his only product would be tantrums.  If he were a river - his only flow would be anger.  The one mitigating factor is that he has eczema and though it has ebbs/flows - it looks friggin awful and he looks miserable.  It's like torture to watch him scratch, howl, get up and then sit down, unable to figure out what to do.  All I can do is cover him in Aquaphor, cortisone, distract him and then call the doctor for another appt.  It's been hard on me and most of all on him.  

7) When he wants anything, he says Mommy at the top of his lungs, hurls himself on the floor.  When that doesn't work, he'll scratch his legs (because this always works) and howl "Owie!"  This makes mommy move fast like a kid at a carnival. 

8) The warm weather and long days are glorious.  I wish they would never end.  

9) Next weekend, I'm going away with some old high school (even gradeschool) friends for a 1969 birthday celebration.  Should be fun.  Ok, I lie - I'm nervous about leaving my eczema son and little girl and hanging out 90 miles away.  Deep breath....

10) I thought I would hate being 40 but I like it so far.  Feels like an accomplishment (not about aging) but about just building a nice life for myself.  Kids, nice hubbie, career, etc.  

Happy summer, dudettes!!!

Turning corners...

I'm sleeping more!  My kids are 5.5 years and 15 months.  My 15 month old is finally sleeping through the night.  He is so cute.  I love his big cheeks and the ones on his face too (ba dum bum).  His big sister is a bona fide elementary school kid; she loves school, her teacher and recess (duh).  I love doing her hair before school; she wears pigtails or just a pin on one side. She just learned to read!  I can hear her reading to herself in her room some nights; it's so cute. During a visit to the library, I overheard her "reading" to herself which meant in a low speaking voice that disgruntled a lot of senior citizens.  I told her to be read to herself silently so she did:  now all you could hear was a loud breathy whisper:  "Clifford didn't want ice cream so he walked across the street to the car wash..."  I can't believe that her kindergarten experience is almost half over; school gets out June 10.  I already signed her up for summer camp after reading some mom's freakout online about getting a jumpstart on summer.  She is an overall sunny person, a great big sister.  She is always looking out for her younger brother - keeping him from getting hurt (grabbing a knife) and then turning around and (unintentionally) hurting him in the process (tackling him to the ground).

She is very observant and pretty mature for her age.  I sometimes feel like I'm speaking with someone twice as old as she is.  She's also a little bossy and exacting though not to an obnoxious degree.  She has a hard time with the girl cliques (yes there is such as thing as a 5 year old queen bee) but we're working through each situation.  It's so hard to do this with her because it brings up my own fear of rejection and disapproval.  I remember the many times I faced or avoided (girl) bullies in my school.  It was and is so much easier for me to tell off a man than a woman.  Bad of me, isn't t?

Wait, I can yell at pretty much anyone as long as I feel justified.  I have to be (extra/double extra) sure of myself but I have been known to yell at someone if I feel like I'm getting the raw end of the deal.  It's the crispy kimchee in me.  All that spicy fermentation needs an outlet.  I digress. My daughter is facing that pack mentality of (most not all) girls that drives me crazy.  I understand the need for companionship or common ground or even to not feel like a loner freak. But I don't understand or feel comfortable with the whole let's all dress like each other, do exactly the same thing and all hang out at the mall together.  I never understood it when I was 12 either.  I wish I could give her a mental shield and helmet to wear as she goes through these next 15 years so she can deflect the mean words, judgment and conformist bullshit thrown at her by her fellow girls.  Whew, I'm glad I'm turning 40.  

Random thoughts going round and round

I haven't blogged in a while. I've been on the "hamster wheel" of parenting as my good friend PCho would say. These past two weeks have given me a chance to hibernate, shop (gotta keep the economy going), eat carbs, and sleep in until 10 a.m. several days in a row (amen!). So I emerge now roly-polier, more relaxed, with less cash and a little discombobulated. I always have a ton of random thoughts in my head so I'd like to spew them here. Sort of like a discount bin at Marshall's. No wait that sounds unsavory - how about a beautiful basket of Hermes scarves?

1) I'm so excited for Barack Obama to become president. We've hyped him up quite a bit. As a PR professional (ahem!), I believe he has no where to go but down. Media rollercoaster, here we come! I will be watching the inauguration Tuesday, Jan. 20 - wearing my team's colors: red/white/blue!
2) 2009 is the year my fellow '69ers turn 40. Gasp. To those over 40, please turn away from the screen lest you judge my next few thoughts. I can't fucking believe I'm turning 40. I can't process it. It seems like the beginning of the end. My friend's mother said turning 50 is worse but what can we do? I will just have to become more fabulous.
3) My son is walking! He speaks: da-da, do-do. He points to me and to himself on command. So cute, yeah? Don't let him fool ya. The boy is like a violent badger at times. He has the strength of a much bigger man. He claws, screams and kicks too. It's an education since my daughter was very gentle. Even at 14 months, he wakes up a few times a night due to his eczema (poor baby) but we are hanging in there. His Daddy and I take turns. The other night I held his (not so small) body in my arms and I felt like crying because I was so tired of it all. My emotions are so unpredictable. When people ask me how I am, I often don't really know. The true sign of being a mom: You don't really know! ha!
4) The eerie quiet of Dead Week a.k.a. the holidays. This is probably a blog post unto itself. I have always had a hard time with the holidays. So much expectation both met and unfulfilled. I was always the anxious kid around the holidays who didn't know what to expect and felt like the whole event was weird. That sentiment has stayed with me. I'm not like a lot of other people I know who relish this season: hot chocolate, big cozy sweaters, decorating trees, etc. I do LOVE gifts - not so much receiving them but for giving them - wrapping gifts, the anticipation of watching people open them - hoping that they will appreciate them, etc.

That's it for now...can't wait for school to start! Freedom!

Random notes

Just some random thoughts from my small brain:

- Sarah Palin has some giant ass cajones. She was on the city council in 1992 and 16 years later she is up for VP of USA. That's a pretty vertical career climb and from Alaska no less. She reminds me of a pageant contestant: oozing charm, bouncy hair and lipsticked to the max. She is the stomach-able version of a female political candidate for the Republican man: attractive, opposite of butch, providing some sexual tension during meetings, not getting too detailed with policy - leaving that "hard" stuff to the men. I'm in shock that she got this far but apparently she was being groomed for years. I'm amazed. Where is my career going?

- I am an unapologetic suburbanite. Or maybe I just hate San Francisco. I love Paris, Amsterdam, New York (if I was a billionaire) but SF just really makes me ill. It's dirty, everything is so far apart...all the neighborhoods are spread out. I don't like the whole hippy vibe. It drives me nuts, I think. I used wallow in it, admire it but now I just get the skkeeved out. sorry golden gate.

- My husband and I have been married for 10 years; together for 14 years if you include our dating years. He is turning 40 in two days. I'm not mushy but he's my true soulmate. He gets me and I get him. We have the same sense of humor and view of the world and we understand each other and appreciate each other. We love our family and share same values. I wouldn't want anyone else as a Dad to my kids. He's my rock - keeps my tethered to the ground though he might say the same of me.