Cleaning chili off the carpet

I saw this 'Office' episode where Kevin, the HR guy, accidentally dumps a giant pot of chili on the office carpet. He tries desperately to scoop it back into the pot with anything he can grab which turns out to be a manila file folder. His weak attempts are ineffective and he ends up slipping around in a giant, goopy mess - somehow making it all worse with each stroke. Kevin's goopy incident made me think of some of my more difficult days here at the ranch. Love the kids; hate the mess. My 2 y.o. son is adorable but he has been driving me bonkers for days....waking up in the middle of the night for no reason. Then creating havoc during the day, making messes, biting his older sister and generally being a loon. I'm told this is normal behavior for boys. I'm not happy about this feedback at all. I'm biding my time until preschool - hopefully he won't get kicked out. In the meantime, I will keep scooping up the chili...

On a brighter note, I published a guest post at Kimchi Mamas on my daughter's Korean school. Check it out here.

Proud Momma

Tonight I watched my daughter dance in her first talent show. As she twirled across the stage with several other girls, I gulped and thought - my baby is all grown up. I remember when she was a roly-poly infant, giggly toddler and then petulant preschooler. Now she is still babyfaced but her features are solidfying into the girl she's going to become. She still plays with cars on an imaginary track on the carpet but she also tells me that I should wear my black shorts instead of my white ones. It's not just my girl, both my children are growing up quickly. My toddler boy's chubbie (very bite-able) legs are thinning out (oh no!) and he's starting to run (oh shit!). Time is speeding up. Time is weird. During the afternoon usually around 4 p.m. - time slows to a crawl - I can practically hear the ants outside my window yawn. But one day you look at your kids and say - what the hell happened to my babies?! And these are the babies that you complain about to your friends over wine when you are alone.

I do bitch and moan about how hard childrearing is - how hard it is to run a house - to keep on top of everything but when I look at my kids and see how fast they are growing - I just want to press the pause button, take them into my arms, hug them and freeze that moment when they are in my arms, they smell so sweet/fresh, they smile at my silly jokes and they are so innocent. I will always treasure this time in my life when I was turning 40 - my daughter was a fairy princess and my little boy ran from me with his saggy diaper butt. Ah, the bitter with the sweet.

Stick two straws in my soul and suck!

Disclaimer: If you are pregnant or thinking of having children, don't read any further!

My kids are draining me of my lifeforce. I may be experiencing post-vacation re-entry syndrome (we visited Boulder for six days and got back yesterday) but today was one of the hardest days of my two-kid life. I told hubcap (my husband) that my two kids basically took two industrial strength straws and stuck them in my head and sucked on them all day. I conjured up this disgusting image to convey its assault-like pain. It's real and it hurts like surgery, organ removal or just touching your organs and then sewing you back up again. I'm known for dramatizing everyday life perhaps even over-dramatizing but kids take you for everything you have or were saving up for a rainy day. Did I mention they suck you dry? Anyway, I think I need to up my meds or something either that or win the lottery and get a full time nanny. I'm done.

Oh by the way, happy birthday to me. 39 big fat ones! Jessica Simpson and I have the same birthday.

Who's the big crybaby?

So, I haven't written in a while. Why? Cuz, I'm tired, fool! My little 7 month old dude (a.k.a. Dano, Big D, Danbo, DJ Jazzy Jeff) keeps waking up in the middle of the night sometimes 2xs a night. He's clearly not like his big sis who slept 12 hours night when she turned 2 months. Last week I was so tired that I couldn't really focus on anything. Chores went undone so the house was a mess. I couldn't really muster up the energy to do anything except imbibe diet coke and eat carbs (let's see some of my favorites Kettle Krinkle Cut Potato Chips with salt and freshly ground pepper, tortilla chips, chocolate, cookies). It was a sorry scene. My friends kept telling me to let him cry it out. I couldn't bring myself to do it until one night I got mad at the little bugger for waking me up 3xs!!!! So I said to him (silently of course), "You think you're tough little guy...well, Mommy is tougher. Bring it on little man! Tomorrow night will be a different story." Please remember I was tired and letting off steam. If you're not a mom, then shut yer trap and keep reading or hop off here and go read perezhilton.com - it's good stuff. So you could probably figure out the rest - the next night I let him cry it out. It hurt me more than I anticipated. I felt tense, upset and anxious cuz my little D was crying for his momma who was trying to teach him something. Boy, his crying made my heart hurt (I'm the true crybaby) BUT after 20 minutes - he stopped and kept sleeping!!! I was so happy. The next night he did the same and so far he's been doing it off and on but more on than off. Once I got a full night's sleep or closer to it - I felt like a different person. I could think clearly and rationally and actually get stuff done around the house. Actual planning rather than reacting! Miracles can/do happen. Knock on a giant redwood tree!