Truth

I bumped into an old high school/college friend today at Trader Joe's.  She asked me how I was and I replied with surprising force, "I'm great." After I said it, I waited for the dull echo inside of me to silently say no, you're not - but this time it did not come.  Instead I felt strong, at peace and well...great.  Why am I surprised?  You see it's taken me a while to get here.  Since my son's birth, I've been on a roller coaster of sorts.  Typical postpartum stuff and the added difficulty of his food allergies and chronic often painful eczema.  He is now 2.5 years old and while he still struggles with skin issues (scratching till he bleeds) he has come such a long way.  I have laid my hands on him at night when he sleeps and prayed for him.  Prayed that God would take away his terrible rash and discomfort.  I can't even really cry about it because I can't bear to really take the realization too deep into my heart of how uncomfortable he probably is 24 hours a day.  So I methodically try to help ease his comfort....rub ointments into his skin or take his mind off his itchiness by making him laugh, watch his favorite shows or rub his tummy.  It's truly awful how helpless I feel but he cannot use my pity or sadness.  He needs my help and clear mind to think of a solution.  His rash has gotten slightly better but at least now I have some handle on how to control it.  My son can communicate a little better now too.  We're in a better place all around.  I've learned to let go of perfection and settle for good enough.  As long as "us four" are ok, I'm ok....and as in days like today, I'm great....