I drive a lot. During the day, I feel like my car is another room in my house. As such it is filled with appropriate accoutrements e.g., clothing, food, magazines, books, furniture, bowls, eating utensils. You name it. I could live in it for 48 hours with my kids and they would be well cared for. So during these long drivings jags, I have random thoughts. I thought I mights share some of these.
- If squirrels didn't have cute tails, we'd all be screaming our asses off seeing them scampering all over the place. They look like little rats. ew.
- Why does that woman in my neighborhood take walks with her (giant) patio umbrella. She looks like a deranged clown who robbed a sidewalk bistro and doesn't know what to do with her stolen good.
- Does Los Altos experience more pedestrian fatilities because it lacks proper sidewalks? Do they really have that much faith in the local geriatric and/or pimple-ridden driving population? I for one feel nervous walking around my neighb because you never know if it's going to be a 75 year old trying to work her voice recognition dialing software in her new Jag or a 17 year old texting someone that he's late to Spot Pizza.
- Why do some of the moms at my school drive like drugged loons? I don't get it. When you drop off your giant 6th grader, do you need to sit there and watch him take the 100 steps into school? Move it!
- Do all cops have brown hair? Yes!
- Why does butter and animal fat taste soo good. (if you say ew, you don't know how to eat)
- Why do people continue to run when it's obvious that they are in a lot of pain. I swear I saw this woman limping down the street all patched up from knee to ankle. I totally get the addiction to endorphins but come on!
- EVERYONE TEXTS while driving. You can see the tops of people's heads as they look down at blue screens. Geico, man, Geico!
- I can't remember what Alec Baldwin looked like when he was hot. I simply don't remember and that's not good.
That's all for now...
