Everyday I commit 20-100 parenting mistakes. Depending on the number of kids in the car, my sleep/protein intake, and daily agenda, the number goes up. I could blame several things including my own spectacular upbringing (no comment) or my two wildly different kids (girl = shy, unassuming and boy=passionate, extrovert). Or I could blame it on the fact that I sometimes just really want to be alone and will do anything in the moment to escape any communication with anyone under 4 feet tall.
The toughest part of being a parent is that you can't escape. Sometimes you have to do the exact opposite thing that you want to do. I call it constipating your id - dismembering your own wants to submit to the needs of others. Do you want to sit down and watch your TIVO'd Mad Men? - nope. Instead track down your kids blanket and then read him 60 books about fans. Feeling sleepy? Downright exahusted? Nope! sit on the ground and build a really complicated model of a rollercoaster with about 10,000 small pieces whose colors blend in perfectly with your carpet. God forbid you lose a piece. To our kids (up to a certain age and maybe beyond), I will posit that we are like giant animated teddy bears who care for them, prepare snacks, pick up their shit (lit and fig) and protect them. That's why you sometimes feel depleted. Insert disclaimer here that of course I love my kids and would do anything for them. I'm just trying to stand up for the parenting community. The ones who aren't naturally maternal/paternal. The ones who had to learn to parent the hard way or the harder way or the hardest way. The ones who didn't have it modeled for them but had to figure it out and submit however awkwardly to their children's needs while muttering under their breath - indecipherable phrases from the "urban" dictionary. I stand proud as one of these awkward amateur parents. And really is there any other kind if we are honest?
Parents are raised just like kids. I have learned so much over the last 10 years. I learned how much free time I actually had. How hard it is to care and be present for others. I have learned much respect for my parents who were immigrants to this country and really had no idea what their children faced at school, among friends or beyond. What's a sleepover? Girlscouts? What the hell is that? They did what I am doing - just taking one day at a time. I don't think you ever feel like you master parenting - you just have to keep doing it.
